It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
