Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
