there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
