we're chasing vodka with high fives
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
