Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
