just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
