He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize