I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
