It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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