i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
