Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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