Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
