I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
