is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
