You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
