My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
