Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
