i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
