dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
