Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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