White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
