Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
