She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
