so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
