he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
