don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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