Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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