Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
