My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
