i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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