super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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