some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
