Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
