i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
