Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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