just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
