Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
