he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
