Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
