apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
