is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
