Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I supernannyed him into submission
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
