The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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