So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
