She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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