dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
