so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
