i barfeds in our rink
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
birth control should be required to get into college
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
