I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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