oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
