You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
