maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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