we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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