A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Drunk is a universal language darling
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
