He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
