Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
