I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
